Wednesday, 6 December 2017

LAST LAUGH - A 100 word story

The Friday Fictioneers photo prompt this week made me think about the potential dangers of ice in all its forms.




PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson




LAST LAUGH


The glacier oozed like discoloured toothpaste from mountains topped with snow like crumpled bedlinen.
With Andy droning on about “moraines”, we climbed up beside the glacier before stepping onto the jagged ice. 'Glacier formation is fascinating.'
'Yeah.' I yawned.
Andy found a minty-blue ice cave. 'Come and look at these stalactites.'
'They're icicles, not stalactites. And I'm not entering a cave that could collapse without warning.'
'You think icicles are dangerous?' Sarcasm splintered his laugh.
With an ear-shattering boom ice pinnacles lifted and toppled.
Andy squealed and leapt clear as the glacier swallowed the cave.
I returned his sarcastic laugh.



I hope you enjoyed my story and look forward to reading your comments.

If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories you can find them listed HERE

If you wish to join in you'll find the all information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page



48 comments:

  1. I didn't warm to Andy. I do like the sound of that cave though.

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  2. No, Andy is a bit of a know-all. (I really saw that cave on a glacier. It was small and beautiful - and I didn't enter it!)

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  3. I wouldn't enter it either!

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  4. He's lucky to be alive. I've heard of people walking under the icicles from their own roofs that got killed when one dropped. Those suckers are like dangling swords.

    A pity for laughter to ruin a mint blue cave.

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    1. Snow and ice environments can be fragile.

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  5. Very well done. He who laughs last, and all that. I'm like your narrator: never venture into unknown or insecure spaces!

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  6. At least the trip became a bit more dramatic! :-)

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  7. Oh no... Glacier caves are treacherous... quite a lesson in common sense I think

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  8. I hope Andy realizes how lucky -- and how foolish -- he is. But... probably not.

    These posts have been very enjoyable, regardless of the fact that they're relatively quick reads, not like my long-winded posts.

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    1. I doubt if Andy will learn his lesson.
      Thank you for your feedback - much appreciated!

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  9. Your descriptions are poetic. And I'm glad Andy survived, even if he was a bit of a jerk.

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  10. Dear Susan,

    I'd say Andy's lucky he didn't get run through with a sharp icicle. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Yes, he shouldn't be such a show-off.

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  11. Ha, there's the difference between knowledge and wisdom/common sense right there. Nice one!

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    1. Exactly! Haven't we all seen foolish know-alls?

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  12. Icicles and Stalactites both seem to be weapons with no one to wield them....till mother nature takes matters into her own hands :-)

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    1. Yes, you have to treat both with respect. :)

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  13. Stalactites - unpredictably dangerous. Sounds as thought the narrator has a better instinct for danger.

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    1. Yes, ice is dangerous - and, unlike Andy, she wasn't trying to show off!

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  14. You usually travel to warmer climes, Susan - and I wouldn't have trusted that cave either!

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  15. He he - my personal glacier experience was in New Zealand. I'm glad to say I didn't have a character like Andy to contend with!

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  16. I loved little things - like the descriptions and the snarky ending...
    and you know, the alliteration or just the use of some words gave this a fun bantering flow...
    like this:

    "'You think icicles are dangerous?' Sarcasm splintered his laugh."
    all those s's flowed....

    peace
    prior from priorhouse

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    1. Thank you for the feedback. It's always good to know when my word choices work.

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  17. i think he should pay more attention to what she's saying from now on. and learn to say the magic words, "yes, dear." :)

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    1. Ha ha - you might be right - although I don't think they're married!

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  18. I like how you used the word splintered in context. Good writing!
    Glad that Andy was taught a lesson in humility!

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    1. Thank you. I do give my word choices some thought, so it's nice to know when they're appreciated.

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  19. Nice story. I loved your opening sentence - great description of the glacier and the mountain snow.

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    1. Thanks, Penny. I put writing descriptively down to my experience as a travel writer. :)

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  20. Doesn't seem like these two are a good match, uh-oh! Andy sounds like a bit of a blowhard, droning on like he knows something but then not even realizing the danger he's putting them in. Sarcasm is too good for him, lol!

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    1. Yes, I think she'll dump him after they've climbed down from that glacier!

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  21. How cocky of him! Glad she gets the last laugh. Nice take on the prompt.

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  22. Yes, he deserved to be laughed at, Magarisa.

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  23. Uh-oh! Andy nearly paid the price for not listening. Loved the descriptions. Nice one.

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    1. Thank you! Andy is a bit of an idiot, isn't he?

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  24. great description of the glacier and mountains. Having seen both I think your words describe them acurately. Andy might know a lot but she has more sense than he.

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    1. Thanks, Irene. I took those descriptions from a travel article I wrote about New Zealand some years ago.

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  25. Andy was a poor glacier guide plus being an idiot. That would be terrifying as well as awe-inspiring. Good writing with great description Susan. :) --- Suzanne

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  26. Thanks, Suzanne. Yes, he was an idiot - but I quite enjoyed creating the Andy character. Glad you liked the imagery. :)

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  27. I enjoyed reading your story - especially like the phrase 'the minty blue ice cave'.

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  28. Thank you! It's always so nice to know that someone has enjoyed one of my stories.

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Thank you for your comment!